My butt

So fall is in all her brilliance....my favorite time of year....and all I can do is obsess about the size of my ass.

yes. pathetic. But i swear that it is growing exponentially. It is actually scaring me. I feel like a very frumpy old lady with an ass that is getting really outta control...kindof like that girl in Willie Wonka - the one that grew into a giant blueberry. Thats kindof how I feel.

My ass is growing and growing....like a huge oversized grotesque.....blueberry!!!!! ok - that sounds really wierd. But I feel like a freak of nature. Who will love me with an ass that keeps multipling itself???? Wow. What a humiliating entry. Maybe it's a woman thing. Maybe it's an 'I'm almost 30' thing. Everytime I catch a glimpse of it - it being my backside in general - in the mirror I have to gasp and look away. And I am even wearing Black pants today. Don't believe all the hype about black being a slimming colour. All lies I tell you. ALL LIES!!!!!

you, dear reader, may think I'm overreacting. Maybe... But please don't try and placate me with a gentle "it's all in your head - your ass looks fine." because I can no longer fit my favorite belt around my growing hips. And that, my friend, is serious....inDEED.

Hmmmm....So. i'm normally one of the most un-self concious woman i know about things of this nature....so this is slightly out of charachter. I think the ass rant is over now. Until i get slammed with another wave of growing butt phobia. and believe me....it's a phobia.

over and out,
-jc