Friday, June 24, 2011

She's getting....


I don't think many people, if any, read this thing anymore - but what the hay - I thought I'd give the report anyway. The unimaginable has happened....Julia is getting married. To this guy:

The Donald.

It's totally anti-climactic in many ways since we've been together for 5 years and some (?) and have been living together for 2 (or more?) in the booming metropolis of Guelph. I'm not good with dates....or time lines. In any case, the date is set and we'll be officially tying the knot next summer outside (weather permitting) on the Ignatius Centre property in Guelph on the same land where Don farms. It's a very beautiful place that holds a lot of meaning for both of us.

It feels weird to say that we are "engaged", although I guess that is what we are. I think i feel strange around it because it seems way too traditional or "old-school" in my mind for some reason. It also co notates a state of waiting for that 'big day where suddenly we begin a life together', which seems strange since we are already well along that path. I feel like the day we get married is another step on a journey we've already undertaken. A significant one - but not to be overshadowed by all the decisions, compromises - both large and small, celebrations, responsibilities etc, that we've already experienced and gone through together.

In some ways, the whole experience of deciding to do this has made me more aware of the ways that our culture has completely over-blown and romanticised marriage. Starting with the wedding. Yikes - it's a zoo! I never knew there was, like, one BILLION wedding blogs out there! One thing that makes me laugh is the "engagement photo". What the??!!?? Since when was this a thing??!! Super cheesy poses of couples kissing under a tree, and on a bridge, and next to a horse, and on a swing, feeding the ducks etc etc etc. BARF!!! Who cares!!!!

Sooooo very CHEESY. (Sorry for the all caps. Couldn't help it). And all the super hip wedding bloggers drive me just as crazy - if not more....I dunno - I guess it's all a little much.

Anyway, all the marketing weirdness has made me really have to stop and consider what it really means...for me...and for us. It can be hard to strip all the hoop-lah away and get to the crux of it. I know for me it's important that I make a public commitment to Don. And it's also about the important people witnessing it...I know I need those things. It's about more than this but in ways that are deep and hard for me to articulate at this point.

To be sure - there will be more venting about this topic in the year ahead. Oh joy.



subail said...


We are so happy for you.

As you know Jim and I did not do the 'traditional' thing either although there were conventional touches. I understand what you're saying since I had many of the same feelings.

We can't wait to watch you make that public commitment to Don. That's what is important not the 'romanticized' version of what others think should happen. Do it your way!!

We love you, Jules, and if there's ANYTHING we can do to help, let us know...


xFallingStar said...

congrats! the ring is gorgeous :)

hulia said...

Thanks Sue! I'm glad someone still reads this thing! Hope you guys are doing well...

Nicholas Greco said...

Hey! I'm still reading! Congrats, Julia!

sequesthered said...

I'm still reading too! Congratulations, Julia! This is very good.