Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hello Ladies and Gentleman, dogs and cats...whatever.

I am back from the tropics straight into disgust-oid (yes, that IS a word I made up) land of November's cold rain, grey sky's and Ontario blah-ness. O joy. Got back about 2 weeks ago.

Axel Rose is a fool....November rain is not sweet. It is shitty.

Anyway...yet again, due to my stellar planning abilities, my life is hanging in mid-air, somewhat aimless and waiting to see a clear way ahead. Or at least a way...any kind of way. No me gusta. I have options in front of me one of which may possibly involve me going back to Costa Rica for a year, but waiting on confirmation or non-confirmation. In the meanitime I am again participating in the exciting territory of the job-search. Those of you who have been there can relate to how much of a majot pain in the ass it is. But, alas, there you have it. There are other major life decisions pending which I don't really feel at liberty to discuss on the blog, but which are life altering as well. All of this seems to be happening at the same time which requires me to have to figure out major life shite in a relatively short period of time. It's been a reeeeeally weird and disorienting 2 weeks for me to say the least. I feel like a scrambled egg right now when I need to be feeling decisive, resolute and sure..... Sunny Side UP. Heh heh. Not happening. I hated scrambled eggs as a kid. Still do. They make me want to gag.

To add to life's curve ball insanity these days, a friend of mine is also getting hitched next week, which is great, but also makes me "the last woman standing" of my closest friends. Yes, that's right, I am the very last un-married one of them. I feel like I deserve a trophy, a giant ribbon, or at least some kind of recorded applause (insert here). I imagine, within a short period of time I will be the very last child-less one of them as well. More fun times for me to look forward to. For whatever reason, at this point in time, the whole business makes me want to move to Bangladesh and never come back. And in all seriousness, I am fighting the urge to do just that...OK - maybe not Bangladesh, but some place where I can start new, where no-one knows me and I don't have to carry around the baggage of "Julia, the un-married childless one."

It's in times like these that I wish I were a man.

I also wish I were swinging in a hammock next to the Caribbean sea.



Lisa said...

hey, I also am the Last Woman Standing in my circle of friends! Luckily I moved to the other side of the planet just before everyone got married..

hulia said...