Sunday, July 30, 2006

unexpected gifts

First post in awhile...

It's been a hot'n'sweaty July. A high stress and mentally exhausting month....and will probably continue until at least October, and maybe into November. I feel in the middle of a dark tunnel. And the only way out is through. There is no avoiding a lot of mess and pain.
Life seems so hard and heavy right now. Very hard.

But - It's a lovely Sunday for me....Met Shelley this morning at a beautiful little Anglican church downtown -
St.George the Martyr. It was quite an unexpected gift. I can honestly say it is probably the first time I have felt truly nourished inside of a church in over a year. I felt strengthened after the sacrament. I felt more relaxed than i have in a very long time. Sitting in the pew with my eyes closed and breathing slowly...i felt a bit as if I was in the warm lap of God. The piano player played the Ave Maria as the priest annointed and prayed over some of the parishioners after the celebration of the Eucharist....and during the singing of a particularly beautiful hymn I just cried and cried. The silence....the peace....Totally and wholly unexpected. I believe I have found a church I actually want to attend. I'm so glad for it.

Then we biked back to Roncessvalles and met April....who will actually be moving to Costa Rica for a year: Crrrrrrrrrazy. Anyway - then we got coffee's, Shelley cut my hair in April's back yard, and A and S left for Freedomize I stayed here to watch Aprils TV and get a shower. Man, I love my friends. I am so lucky. sooooo...I've been vegging out wrapped in one of her big bath towels....this has been a retreat day. a true sabbath. i think i will watch a movie.

Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfall
all your waves and breakers
wash over me
wash over me
wash over me
and heal me.